 |
The Golden Shield of IBF | Rating | |
| D | |||
| Jerry and Sharon Ahern | |||
| Series | Related Books | ||
| N/A | N/A | ||
Creath is ruled by the sadistic Queen Sorceress. Only one person, her daughter, has any real chance at overthrowing her evil ways. But she can't do it alone. She has a band of warriors helping her. And, thanks to a hasty escape from certain doom to our world, she has Alan Garrison, FBI agent and wannabe fantasy author as her champion.
Conceptually, the book is fine. I have no problem with the general plot, and the metaphysics of how magic works in Creath makes as much sense as any other and is internally consistent. But the implementation... ouch.
The first problem I had was when Swan the Enchantress teleports into a sci-fi convention. I'm willing to let the coincidence go, frankly; more problematical is that Alan, who is there in search of a mega-right-wing "freedom fighter" who wants to bomb the place, finds it necessary to give his boss a lecture on why these congoers are not freaks and wierdos. This is a problem because the authors are therefore lecturing the readers as well, who, since they are reading this book, already think they're not wierd at all, or at least that it's not worth worrying over.
But more was to come. Alan falls in love with Swan very early. From then on, the dialogue frequently becomes... well, mushy, for want of a better word. Alan can't go a dozen pages without at least thinking about how much he loves Swan, and often says such things as, "The stars are beautiful, but not as much as you." Done on occasion, it's okay, but it becomes painfully saccharine when used too much, as it is here. Also, she loves him back, and given the dialogue I felt it was a miracle that the book didn't turn into an outright bodice-ripper. The only thing preventing it is a prophecy (of course) that dictates that she must be a virgin until at least a certain point in the quest.
Alan doesn't act much like an FBI agent. At least, not like any FBI agent I've ever seen outside of a comedy. He frequently brings up refrences to movies, books, and other popular culture that the natives wouldn't possibly know. Often it is in an attempt to be humorous, but it always, always fell flat with both those around him and with myself. For instance, at one point he demands Swan wait a moment before teleporting their small party elsewhere in order to declare, "Energize!" Yes, he wants to write fantasy; yes, he's human; but this just does not fit with the aura people concieve when they think of the FBI.
The most puzzling thing was the actual Golden Shield of IBF. It is Alan's badge magically enlargened and enhanced. For a reason never explained, the letters' placements are reversed but not mirrored. Odd, yes, but not what I meant by puzzling. No, I was referring to how this is the item the book is titled after, yet it plays absolutely no important role in the tale. None. Well, no more than any shield does in battle; it's like Conan's sword, rather needed in spots but hardly worthy of getting the book named after it. And there's the fact that whenever it is mentioned, with one single exception, it is always named in full; never is it just the Golden Shield or even just the Shield. It's irritating.
The book was probably very good in outline. But unfortunately it was very clumsily told. Everything was overblown; there was no subtlety to anyone's actions or emotions or plans. I'd not be at all surprised to learn that this is their first book. I hope they improve in the future, and think it's quite possible. After all, every one of these problems was minor; it was only the sheer number of them, and the fact that they seemed to crop up over and over throughtout the story, that made this so difficult to read. If they get rid of these relatively minor problems, their books might well be worth reading. But I just don't feel this one is.
| By Title | By Author | By Rank |